Things I read this week, vol. 3

Valentine’s Day, amiright ladies? Just kidding, I won’t spend any time talking about Valentine’s Day. (OK, maybe except for this. And this.) Here are some other things I looked at on the internet this week.

How The Sims taught me what matters in Life: “Achievers kept pushing towards victory, but upon discovering that the numbers have no upper limit, they invariably got bored and quit. Meanwhile, despite not being a real word (and thus the red-squiggly bane of my spellchecked life), Dollhousing is the most rewarding, long-lasting, and dare I say best way to play. As more of a toy than a game, The Sims doesn’t reward players seeking a high score — pursuing one is a sure path to frustration and failure. Dollhousers play by their own rules, and whether or not they realize it, demonstrate a powerful idea: When you can’t win, you can’t lose.

Crime story of the week, courtesy of my hometown: A stolen Stradivarius, “Taser confetti,” and someone named Universal Knowledge Allah. This story has everything!

T-Pain defends his gay assistant: “Why you think this gay dude is gonna like you? Bitches don’t even like you! That’s stupid, bruh!” #tpainwisdom

The year Anil Dash didn’t retweet men: “I found the only times I even had to think about it were very male-dominated conversations like the dialogue around an Apple gadget event. Even there, I’d always find women saying the same (or better!) things about the moment whose voices I could amplify instead of the usual suspects. And for the bigger Twitter moments I love, like award shows and cultural events, there are an infinite number of women’s voices to choose from.” (Katy had some smart things to say about it, per usual.)

The secret life of Gitmo’s women: Thank you, based Ann Friedman Weekly.

Olympic skiers’ butts cannot lie: “Ripped jeans are apparently a common phenomenon for downhill skiers, much as it is routine for the Incredible Hulk to turn green and burst out of his clothes in fits of anger.”

Dirtbag Hamlet

GHOST: have you killed Claudius yet
HAMLET: no
GHOST: why
HAMLET: fuck you is why
im going to the cemetery to touch skulls

Why you shouldn’t feel guilty about binge-watching “House of Cards” this weekend: “In an era where little ‘invisible’ chunks of time on Snapchat and YouTube can easily absorb as much time in a week as a season of Breaking Bad, the ability to reclaim control of one’s time, to rediscover—as Shay Colson, a Seattle-based cybersecurity engineer I quote in my recent book put it—’how much time is in the day when you don’t spend it in 30-second chunks,’ makes binge watching an almost radical act of self-determined focus.” (I also wrote up a poll about binge-watching here.)

Goats of fashion week: Look, it happens to all of us sometimes. You wake up in the morning and you accidentally put on the flag of Finland.”

Quiz of the week: Bot or poet?
Playlist of the week: Singles Awareness Day by DJ Spicoli
Shade of the week: Johnny Weir vs. the world
Comics of the week: The Last Sunday of the Year (how I’ve missed you, Esther C. Werdiger!) and San Francisco’s class warfare by the numbers
Videos of the week: OH MY GOD YOU ARE GOING TO FALL TO YOUR DEATH (pt. 1 and pt. 2)
GIFs of the week: How I like to think I finished out the week, and how I actually did (source)
Podcast of the week: The Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project, AKA how to make all your coworkers uncomfortable by cackling maniacally at your desk.

Happy Pizza Day, y’all!

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