Tonight’s State of the Union, aside from promising 2014 will be a “year of action,” is almost guaranteed to be a snoozer. But for those of you as foolhardy as I am to watch the address nonetheless, I wrote a handy guide to SOTU cliches that may pop up.
“This is not about politics.” — “This is obviously about politics.”
“This isn’t a Democratic issue or a Republican issue. This is an American issue.” — “This is an impossibly vague idea on which to legislate.”
“New efforts” — The same efforts as last year, only this time we really mean it.
“Bipartisan support” — Senate Democrats and Pat Toomey.
Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the two mojitos I’ve already drank tonight.